Rich is Turning 50!!

Pardon me if this is a bit of a narcissistic post, and not focused on writing, publishing or the academic life. I have connected to quiet a few people through this blog over the years, and so I wanted to share on a bit more personal level than I sometimes do.

I was born August 6, 1965. Perhaps that date means little to you, but it was twenty years to the day after we dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima. So, my birthday is also one of the most auspicious, tragic days in the history of humanity. As someone who has long been deeply attuned to the bittersweet nature of human existence, I can create space for the joy and the pain, the sadness and the celebration. This year, I am particularly in touch with that dialectic, that paradox, that truism, or whatever you wish to call it. I think I will just call it life!

In a few days,  I turn 50. 50 years old; middle age only if I make it to 100. 50, the new 30! Here I am yesterday in my writing chair, days before turning 50.

I have been preparing for this day for the last year.  I took my sabbatical last fall in celebration of my 50th year, and felt a profound sense of gratitude and peace about where my life was and was headed. I was in Manila, the Philippines; I recall one particular night filled with a deep sense of joy, gratitude, meaning, and wonder. I splurged on a partially nice hotel room for a couple of nights. I went to one of my favorite restaurants, the Hobbit House, and I spent a couple of hours writing in my journal there, and after in my room. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of peace; everything in my life was in place. Not perfect, not at all, no life is perfect. Yet, I had this powerful sense that I knew just how my life was going to unfold, in terms of the structure, my family, my future.

Well, as the expression goes, we make plans and the universe laughs :). I am now divorced and my "baby" is turning 18 on the same week I turn 50. She is off to Switzerland for an amazing gap year adventure. I am proud of her, oh so proud. I am also going to miss her, so very, very much.

And so, I sit here in my favorite cafe, Bluebeard Coffee Roasters, which I affectionately refer to as "my office" and think about that night in Manila. I am not as filled with such peace and certitude, but damn it, life is pretty good!

I think about my health; its fantastic; I go to the gym five time a week and am able to do some pretty serious HIIT.  I feel great. I am single, and am learning to explores the possibilities of that!  I have had more adventures in my lifetime than most people dreamed of. I have raised children that I love deeply, learned what sacrifice means, and both the power and limits of love and marriage. I have good friends that love me, that have loved me for years, even decades.  A mom that has stepped up for me like nobody. I have had amazing dogs that have helped me write 15 plus books and 120 articles; could not have done it without them! My career has been amazing. Not perfect, but, that is why we call it work! Still, I am a full professor, and some of my scholarship seems to have touched some hearts. I love, love, love my coaching practice. Life, as my dear departed friend Gil Schoenstein would say, "is good."

If you know me, you know that I am on the verge of tears; I am a sensitive soul, in spite of my sometimes gruff, intense moments. A year ago I could not have imagined my life at almost 50 being the way it is now, but that is part of the mystery of it, right. Like writing (yeah, I had to throw in something about writing!), you just have to show up for it, each and every day, work on your "stuff" and wait for the magic to unfold. I am excited for future magic, as a newly 50 year old guy!