Friday, November 18, 2016

And Acceptance is the Answer...

In my young 20s, I attended a 12-step program for a while that focused on what has been termed "codependency." While it was helpful at a certain time of my life, it was largely not for me. I did, however, learn some valuable lessons that stuck with me.

One of those was from what is referred to as the "Big Book" of Alcoholic Anonymous, a text borrowed by that group.

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
One of the
I really appreciate this perspective on acceptance. It does not mean that we do not seek to change the world, but it means that we need to understand that our own perceptions are the source of our own upset, and that a key means of self-regulation is to accepted the world, and most centrally ourselves, for what they are in this moment

If we wish to change ourselves, we must first accept ourselves, and work on radical self-acceptance as a key to our well-being. 

If we want to change the world, we must reconcile the way it is now, and not deny the nature of its existence. It also means that the world will shift and change in ways that are beyond our control, and that being at peace means learning acceptance without resignation. Again, acceptance without resignation. Struggle without being internally activated. Tough stuff.

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