Saying no to "opportunities" is one of the painful and confounding challenges scholars face throughout their careers. It is one of the difficulties that never goes away--it triggers so many of our fears and doubts.
Early in one's career, either as a masters or doctoral student, or even earlier depending upon one's journey, we are often fascinated with, perhaps even enchanted by, some of the mysterious things that professors do: serving on grant review panels, presenting at conferences, lectures, reviewing articles for journals, writing book chapters, serving on committees that can change the shape of a university(we learn about that one quickly!) etc..
And what is really incredible, is that they are invited to do many of these seemingly amazing things because they are brilliant experts in their fields--or so we imagine. In this conjured space, this space where this deified other processes skill and traits that we fear we will never possess, we wonder if we too shall ever be afforded some of these opportunities.
And what is really incredible, is that they are invited to do many of these seemingly amazing things because they are brilliant experts in their fields--or so we imagine. In this conjured space, this space where this deified other processes skill and traits that we fear we will never possess, we wonder if we too shall ever be afforded some of these opportunities.
Then, we get one. And then another. But, not that one, or that one. And surely, that one is beyond my reach, we say to ourselves. And then, we are asked to do one of those, so of course, we say yes, no matter how busy we are. It is reasonable to say yes, of course, how could we ever say no to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
You do, of course, see where I am going with this post. The vast majority of what we view as opportunities will be offered to us again, and then again. We have to learn that when we are at our limits, we are at our limits, and nothing else should be added to our workloads. I have made it a rule for myself to made a decision when I am at at 100% workload. I try to check in with myself often--where am I with my teaching, research/creative, service load. Do I have room for anymore?
When I am offered an opportunity, asked to "serve," asked a favor, etc., I have some options in front of me, and I have to be intentional about what I choose to do: 1) say no; 2) say yes and then let something else go: or, 3) decide that the opportunity is just so great that I cannot say no, and then realize that I am going to have to find a way of letting something else go soon. Really soon.
It is the last part that most forget to do.
When I am offered an opportunity, asked to "serve," asked a favor, etc., I have some options in front of me, and I have to be intentional about what I choose to do: 1) say no; 2) say yes and then let something else go: or, 3) decide that the opportunity is just so great that I cannot say no, and then realize that I am going to have to find a way of letting something else go soon. Really soon.
It is the last part that most forget to do.
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