tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82481288920118000942024-03-18T12:57:41.860-07:00Write, Publish, Thrive! A Blog about Writing, Publishing and the Scholarly Life Rich Furman, MFA, MSW, PhD
Insightful, Strengths-Based Coaching for Scholars and Leaders
https://sites.google.com/view/richfurmancoaching/home (temp website while main one is in repair!
Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.comBlogger844125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-26315852532947109692024-02-12T08:29:00.000-08:002024-02-12T08:29:51.052-08:00Good morning, have a good writing session<p><span style="font-size: large;"> Happy Monday. I hope today you have a good writing session. What is a good writing session? One in which you stay in process, do not trash yourself with expectations and demands, don't try to "catch up", have a good entry, focus on one sentence at a time, and write for a healthy, sustainable amount of time.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">There is a lot more to it than that, or perhaps, there is not . </span></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-23364853177933828632023-12-07T08:37:00.000-08:002023-12-07T08:37:04.387-08:00Expanding My Coaching Practice<p><span style="font-size: large;">As I prepare to retire after 25 year as a college professor, I am expanding my coaching practice. For 14 years, I have helped academic thrive in ways they never thought possible. Let's have a complementary chat, even if you are only one percent interested. I love helping!</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ2soFOcFC2ohVoE457YSVpEg0QvZwzqTd3s6jJLJgD2kgypA7bmUgo5NAV8egKLubyPxE8Ysw4fPLWUuaHD98vdg80KdOlXiFXLJR5PWyFebraKBIOf7FpEWD9bYHrGfkwWcDhwKG0cGZy5itwB-byTnZEkyr3MOAUcurclt5hbm7q4F6lsUAVILZeiL_/s3300/Rich%20Furman_Coaching.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3300" data-original-width="2550" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ2soFOcFC2ohVoE457YSVpEg0QvZwzqTd3s6jJLJgD2kgypA7bmUgo5NAV8egKLubyPxE8Ysw4fPLWUuaHD98vdg80KdOlXiFXLJR5PWyFebraKBIOf7FpEWD9bYHrGfkwWcDhwKG0cGZy5itwB-byTnZEkyr3MOAUcurclt5hbm7q4F6lsUAVILZeiL_/s320/Rich%20Furman_Coaching.jpeg" width="247" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-33235401123575808572023-11-18T08:29:00.000-08:002023-11-18T08:29:30.038-08:00To Be Yourself<p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">When you reach the limits of what is expected of you, you come to same dilemma: to be yourself.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Paraphrased from a distant memory, Henry Miller's<i> Tropic of Capricorn. </i></span></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-15118083752012410742023-10-23T19:04:00.003-07:002023-10-23T19:10:03.083-07:00 Ten Reasons Why I Am Retiring From Faculty to Coach Full Time<p><br /></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-8048ecae-7fff-2656-5fc6-1a8bee210837"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">1</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">When you reach the limits of what is demanded of you, you reach the same dilemma, to be yourself,</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> Henry Miller. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">2</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">My sister is dying of brain cancer.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">3</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I am dying too, as are you, we just don’t know the date.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">4</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">My dog is cute AF, and if this does not work out, someone will take us in.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">5</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I can coach my butt off. I may suck at other things, but at coaching, I am awesome-sauce.. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">6</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Everything I have ever done has led me to this.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">7</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Because I can help you write. A lot. Without killing yourself. Fact.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">8</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Go big or go home. We are all going home.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">9</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Because I get to spend each and every day being part of the journeys of amazing people. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">10</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Come find out 🦄🦄🦄</span></p><br /><br /><br /></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-39846781321576898002023-09-23T10:30:00.002-07:002023-09-24T09:50:31.512-07:00Workbooks to Help You With Self Talk and Other CBT Tools<span style="font-size: large;"><span>Not everyone has access to quality mental health services. As such, it is important that we have, for ourselves and others, self help tools to help us work through some of lives more challenging problems, and to help us grown and change. </span><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Cognitive Behavioral Therapy oriented workbooks are a great way of working through (non-clinical, or perhaps best said sub-clinical) depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. </span></span><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Please note--I am NOT suggesting these INSTEAD of therapy or medication. If you are suffering from severe anxiety, depression or any other mental health concerns that are greatly impacting your functioning, please seek help. If you are thinking of harming yourself or others, please seek help.</span></span><div><span id="docs-internal-guid-31779450-7fff-2dc3-4f8b-f2c5ed2003bd"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;">However, if you have no access and if your condition is not serious enough to seek therapy or medication, or if you are hoping to grow and change in key areas, workbooks can be part of your self help toolbox.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;">Last spring, I actually had an assignment in my graduate cognitive therapy course in which students selected and worked through a CBT oriented workbook. In my course evaluations, seven or eight students highlighted that work as one of the most important things they did in their whole graduate social work program. Wow. I have also used these as supplements to my work with clients, suggesting they work though one of these in order to assist our work together.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;">Using these workbooks are a great way to work on your self talk--the topic of the last several of my blog posts. Some of these workbooks are related to specific conditions, while others are more general tools to help you with your mental health and resiliency. Try one, and let me know how they work.</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;">In no particular order: </span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"></span></span></p><h1 class="a-spacing-none a-text-normal" id="title" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0f1111; font-family: "Amazon Ember", Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-cel-widget="productTitle" data-csa-c-id="93rzhx-60rv4q-9fwhm8-7xt1zs" id="productTitle" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/CBT-Toolbox-Second-Depression-Behaviors/dp/1683732790/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=1K9SJ301502VW&keywords=rational+emotive+therapy+workbook&qid=1642994807&s=books&sprefix=rational+emotive+therapy+workbook%2Cstripbooks%2C133&sr=1-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExRFVSNzVFMlQ4RzMmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA5NTI3OTkxVjJCMlZFQUZFNE5DJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA5NjU0MTM5TFFSTDVWT0NEVCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">The CBT Toolbox, Second Edition: 185 Tools to Manage Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Behaviors & Stress</span></a></span></h1><div><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-cel-widget="productTitle" data-csa-c-id="93rzhx-60rv4q-9fwhm8-7xt1zs" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-cel-widget="productTitle" data-csa-c-id="93rzhx-60rv4q-9fwhm8-7xt1zs" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><h1 class="a-spacing-none a-text-normal" id="title" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0f1111; font-family: "Amazon Ember", Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-csa-c-id="9k9ucf-ty9g09-re9gvf-2fqtq6" id="productTitle" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Worry-Workbook-Cognitive-Behavioral/dp/160623918X/ref=sr_1_9?crid=1PZD6WW4OYI1J&keywords=cognitive+therapy+workbook&qid=1642994549&sprefix=cognitive+therapy+workbook%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-9" target="_blank">The Anxiety and Worry Workbook: The Cognitive Behavioral Solution</a></span></h1><div><br /></div><div><h1 class="a-spacing-none a-text-normal" id="title" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0f1111; font-family: "Amazon Ember", Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-csa-c-id="4bzr3s-se76gx-9r5v1n-7puuys" id="productTitle" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Retrain-Your-Brain-Behavioral-Depression/dp/1623157803/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1PZD6WW4OYI1J&keywords=cognitive+therapy+workbook&qid=1642994549&sprefix=cognitive+therapy+workbook%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-3">Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks: A Workbook for Managing Depression</a></span></h1></div><div><br /></div><div><h1 class="a-spacing-none a-text-normal" id="title" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0f1111; font-family: "Amazon Ember", Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-csa-c-id="bmuvco-6f80y8-v99m5g-4tkzde" id="productTitle" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step/dp/1626250154/ref=asc_df_1626250154/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312039018893&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17392586359393415333&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9033485&hvtargid=pla-432153007336&psc=1" target="_blank">The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-By-Step Program</a></span></h1></div><div><br /></div><div><h1 class="a-spacing-none a-text-normal" id="title" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0f1111; font-family: "Amazon Ember", Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-cel-widget="productTitle" data-csa-c-id="j993x-j22y9x-x1rdei-xcxdhy" id="productTitle" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/CBT-Workbook-Mental-Health-Evidence-Based/dp/1647398053/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1PZD6WW4OYI1J&keywords=cognitive+therapy+workbook&qid=1642994549&sprefix=cognitive+therapy+workbook%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-4" target="_blank">The CBT Workbook for Mental Health: Evidence-Based Exercises to Transform Negative Thoughts and Manage Your Well-Being </a></span></h1></div></span></span></div><div><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-cel-widget="productTitle" data-csa-c-id="93rzhx-60rv4q-9fwhm8-7xt1zs" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="a-size-extra-large celwidget" data-cel-widget="productTitle" data-csa-c-id="93rzhx-60rv4q-9fwhm8-7xt1zs" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 36px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span></div></div>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-84900098215929017982023-09-18T06:21:00.001-07:002023-09-18T06:21:00.133-07:00 Follow up: Narratives That Don’t Serve You<p><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Yesterday, I asked you to engage in some reflection about the narratives that are negative and destructive to you. Today, I want you to think of the one narrative that is most vexing: the one that you most want to change.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-169dfb7e-7fff-583e-0ed1-0a24a640b0a1"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Today, I want you to do three, five-minute free writes. During your sessions, I want you to think of how you can change that narrative to one that is TRUE and HELPFUL. True and helpful. No Polyanaish fantasies. If your narrative is about your writing being superficial and “not deep enough” (thank you very much doctoral advisor!), you are not going to believe a narrative in which you reauthor your story to be “ I am the most profound writer ever.” The truth might be that your writing is grounded enough in theory, experience, research, etc.,, that it will make a contribution to your profession but is not axis shifting work (nor is mine!). That is enough! </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This is just an example--I want you to spend time writing some counter-narratives that you can buy into. These are going to give you the clues to important self-talk that you will need to repeat to yourself a few hundred times to believe.</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-57043090755990215852023-09-17T07:07:00.001-07:002023-09-17T07:08:09.468-07:00Exercise: What Narratives Do Not Serve You?<p> <span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">It has been a while since I have given my readers an exercise. Here is one now!</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-e994e0c3-7fff-ab59-b8da-34d64de255b7"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">What are some dominant narratives that interfere with your happiness, wellbeing, productivity, and/or being your best self? What stories do you tell yourself that get in your way?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Set your timer for five minutes and do a free write--write without thinking or judgment, based upon these questions. Do this a few times and see what you find. What you uncover can be an important part of </span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-58632101695502470672023-09-16T09:47:00.001-07:002023-09-16T09:47:08.627-07:00 A Short, Personal Example Of The Need For, and Use of, Self Talk<p><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Yesterday was a hard day. I had the triple whammy of a lot of stiffness in both my “knees” (I have prosthetic devices, aka, knee replacements), a hard conversation with my terminally ill sister, and a painful, abusive conversation with a mentally ill relative. After I hung up with the call, I found myself saying out loud, FML (F#*K my life). FML is, cognitively, shorthand for my life sucks, things are awesome and terrible. I felt super down.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-e64ed574-7fff-81c0-d0d2-456c0d697658"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">While it is normal to feel sad and feel grief, I immediately knew that I was exacerbating these normal and healthy human emotions with something “extra,”a constellation of irrational/unhelpful beliefs that I needed to challenge.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">So, I engaged in Rich’s 5 step model of cognitive change: Contextual awareness, live/in the moment awareness, disruption, disputation (challenge) and then reprogramming (FYI, you now have had half of my graduate course on Cognitive Behavior Therapy).</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Awareness-- I have been working on these skills for a long time, so understanding the nature of my beliefs comes fairly easily to me now. I was engaging in several problematic beliefs: Awfulizing (this is the worst thing ever, my life is F*##D), Should or demands (he should not talk to me this way, he should be different), minimizing the positives (only focusing on these events), fortune telling (this is the start of my knees going south), among others.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Disruption-- I pat myself on the head, and say, “shut up brain, I do not need to believe you. What you say is nor the truth--I will analyze you!” This separates me from the thoughts that are causing the darker, exaggerated feelings that I was struggling with (although, some of it, sadness and loss, is very healthy and appropriate). </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Disputation-1) Of course he should be this way. This is how he always is, and if I am in contact with him, that is what he will do. What he said about my life means nothing--kind of like the Wa Wa Wa of how the adults speak in Charlie Brown episodes. If I don’t want to hear such things, I can not talk to him or hang up on him, but he is performing who he is, and this is all his destiny--none of my business. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">2) How is my life crap? What is the evidence for this? My life is actually pretty amazing. I have amazing work, people who love me, tons of friends, great pets, am loving salsa dancing, love my uke playing, am mostly super fit and healthy, own an amazing home in a great place, etc ect. You are exaggerating things, Brain, and not paying attention to all the good things--no tan bueno. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">3) Yes, it is super sad she is sick. Nothing irrational or wrong about the pain I feel. It is healthy--no disputation needed here. But to help me work through it, I reminded myself that I have been honored to be able to be part of my sister’s journey. I am thankful I have been able to be my best self with her.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Reprograming--basically, this will be the repetition of truths that come from my disputing or challenging, some of the above actually are more reprogram statements that serve as challenges.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Even after nearly 30 years of doing this work, I need to practice the tools that keep me well. I am thankful I have them.</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-50303949819067201572023-09-12T07:04:00.001-07:002023-09-12T07:04:14.999-07:00Self-Talk Tool: Burn's Cognitive Distortion List<p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">David Burns has done some of the most important work helping translate cognitive therapy for lay audiences. He has also done great work on developing simple, user-friendly tools to help people learn to identify and transform their problematic or self-defeating self-talk. Here, I want to present a simple but powerful tool that I give to clients when we are trying to get them to understand the relationship between their beliefs and difficult feelings (anxiety and self downing, for example) or behavior (i.e. compulsively checking email instead of writing). </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here is David Burn’s<a href="https://arfamiliesfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Cognitive-Distortions.pdf" target="_blank"> Checklist of Cognitive Distortions</a>. How do you use this, you may ask? Try this exercise. The next time you are experiencing a feeling/behavior in a way that keeps you from living how you wish, read the list. Ask yourself which distortions you resonate with. Chances are some of your patterns of thinking might be characterized by these. This provides a good place to start intervening (which we will explore in subsequent posts), and can also be found throughout this blog.</span></span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-756e4e5a-7fff-1680-6dca-35d2dc91b3cc"><div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-26430823658287221202023-09-11T06:59:00.000-07:002023-09-11T06:59:08.814-07:00Let's Talk About Self Talk<p> <span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">You talk to yourself all the time. Whether or not we can always hear it, we live and perform our world through our beliefs, attitudes, perceptions and images. We have a running narrative of who we are, what our lives mean, and how we evaluate the world. This is our unintentional self talk, that acts as lenses through which we perform our lives.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-38b23ea1-7fff-1433-d283-ab890ff25e8f"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">In order to be happier, healthier, and more productive (in a sustainable, non-abusive way), we would be well served to develop the skills and tools of intentional self talk. This skill is perhaps what I have written about most in this blog, and I am going to once again dedicate the next several posts to it. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">In my coaching practice, I utilize several theories and perspectives to help clients develop these skills: cognitive therapy, CBT (slightly different from cognitive therapy theory), narrative therapy, existential psychology and philosophy, theories of oppression and the strengths perspective of social work. These seemingly unrelated and on the surface contradictory ways of approaching helping actually fit nicely together to form an empowering way of helping people take more agency for their lives. Together, they help us not ignore structural barriers, but understand how structural and </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">institutional impediments become internalized overtime. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Let’s play a bit here with these ideas for a while.</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-22711955910275600012023-09-10T07:36:00.000-07:002023-09-10T07:36:00.137-07:00 First Step of Your Writing Ritual: Shut that Tech Down <p><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;">Many technological tools are designed not only by technologists but in teams that include biobehavioral psychologists. Think about that: teams that include biobehavioral psychologists and other social scientists.</span></span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-a91993f2-7fff-9269-c4fb-da7441f3e28e"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Why? </span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-size: large;">They are vying for your attention, vying for your brain, actually. Trust that they are good at their jobs, just like you are good at yours. The implications of this insight? Shut down ALL your technology before your writing session. All, yes all. Phone, browsers, and most essentially that work email that compels you to skip your writing sessions.</span></span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-75115744612990352322023-09-09T07:37:00.001-07:002023-09-12T07:05:03.400-07:00Short Writing Session<span style="font-size: large;">For years, many books have advocated for shorter, time limited writing sessions. (or example, my book published in 2007, <a href="https://global.oup.com/ushe/product/practical-tips-for-publishing-scholarly-articles-second-edition-9780190615284?cc=us&lang=en&" target="_blank">Practical Tips for Publishing Scholarly Articles</a>). </span><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">This is great guidance, but the problem is, it is not enough. In fact, telling people to write in shorter sessions actually can lead them to feel demoralized if they are not helped to develop the skills that allow for shorter blocks of time to be used well. These include: a systematic way of actually writing, the use of rituals, the importance of ending sessions "on the downhill", clear entry points, clear strategies for when to write/schedule writing, an understanding that shorter blocks take a while to which to acclimate. I even created a <a href="https://writepublishthrive.blogspot.com/2015/12/consider-circuit-training-for-scholars.html" target="_blank">"training" program</a> of super short sessions that many people have found useful, but these take time to learn to use well!</span><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">Without additional tools, many scholars feel deflated by overly-simplistic, glib guidance of what to do. If this is the case for you, check out some of the 800 posts in this blog and see what might be useful for you!🦄🦄🦄</span></div></div>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-44877216004121795472023-03-11T08:26:00.000-08:002023-03-11T08:26:00.195-08:00The Big Three of Rituals: Meaning, Mindset and Entry Points<p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">A simple, short post today, as I have written about writing rituals a good deal already. Over time, I have really come to believe that a short, consistent writing ritual is one of the key ingredients to a consistent (habituated), healthy (cognitively benign, appropriate length, ending on the downhill,) writing session (and therefore, writing life, as we only have one session at a time). Of course, many writers/scholars get by without them. However, if you have struggled with consistent writing you may wish to really take a ritual seriously. </span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-4a29c4a7-7fff-4f3b-192b-85af865743aa"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are three central issues to consider when developing your writing ritual--meaning, mindset and entry points. Developing a ritual that has personal and or social meaning to you helps you create a sense of purpose to your writing outside of the dictates of demands and expectations. A short meditation or mindfulness practice, and/or self talk to counter the destructive narratives that you may currently hold, allow writing to be cognitively benign at least, and dog forbid, joyful (it is possible, really). Finally, a clear entry point at the end of your ritual, the exact place where you start (page, paragraph and even sentence), helps you avoid the dreaded paralysis by analysis that can too easily occur when you start considering where to begin.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Oh, and make certain your writing ritual is short--certainly under five minutes. </span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-16619503081326750252023-03-05T10:20:00.002-08:002023-03-05T10:20:42.764-08:00The ONLY Reason to Skip Your Writing Session<p> <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Only Reason Not to Write</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-1629e293-7fff-5483-77ef-788b703b2f78"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we teach, we get to our classes unless there is a medical emergency, or a previously planned conference or such. We don’t say to ourselves, “I don’t feel like teaching today, I will move the class until later that day.” We also don’t just not show up and not let anyone know--that would be a big deal. Similarly, if someone emails us and asks us if we have a meeting, we won’t cancel the class for it. Unless someone is giving us a Nobel prize or something. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So why do you do that with your writing sessions? I ask this almost rhetorically, but some of the possible answers suggest why you may be missing writing sessions.</span></p><br /><ol style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You actually don’t have healthy, sustainable-length sessions but instead have a large block of time, so there is nothing really to change part of you knows sitting in your chair for hours is self-abusive, but I digress.</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You are not accountable to anyone for it</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Writing is important, but not urgent (usually)</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You have more psychological baggage around writing (self downing, internalized expectations, anxieties) than teaching</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You don’t have self-talk skills honed to help you keep your writing session.</span></p></li></ol><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is why I tell clients there is only one reason to change a writing session: Blood. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Blood.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dog bleeding, child bleeding, you bleeding.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Blood.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am only half joking. I am not telling how often you have to write (addressed elsewhere in this blog), but if your intention is to write at a given time, it would be wise to develop the same attitude toward your writing sessions that you have about teaching. If you have an emergency (blood) of course, you can reschedule it. However, we want to make writing sessions that we schedule non-negotiable. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This does not mean that you don’t have compassion for yourself as you work toward being consistent and getting yourself to your writing sessions. Shame is a cause of our problems, not a solution. I am all for self acceptance and self love. What it does mean, however, is that you need to develop a constellation of skills and tools that help you get yourself to your healthy, sustainably, cognitively benign writing sessions. Habits, rituals, decisions on timing, accountability, self talk, working on our internal barriers, and other tools can help.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, if there is no blood, you probably can have your writing session, even if it is for ten minutes, even if it sucks.</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-63870630899900053452023-03-04T07:39:00.008-08:002023-03-04T07:42:47.597-08:00Write, Publish, Thrive is Back! <p>Well, after a good long hiatus, I have decided to start back to blogging! I needed that break--8 years and 800 plus posts was a lot! I feel reenergized, and with a few book projects completed, it is a great time to use "writing as method of inquiry" to rethink some of what I have learned about writing, the psychological barriers to writing, and how academics can thrive. </p><p>I am thankful to all of you who have followed my posts over the years, and hope to reengage old and new friends!</p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-87406100154954915602021-09-13T07:00:00.032-07:002021-10-15T06:22:05.630-07:00Cognitively Benign Writing Session<p><span style="font-size: medium;">I am not sure if I have written about this concept before, but I talk to clients about it all the time. What an odd choice of words for an act that so many people have so many strong feelings about. Benign.</span> <span style="font-size: medium;">Why not excited, happy, joyful? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Well, these are great to experience, for sure, but each of them is dependent upon evaluations/judgments about how your writing session is going. If you can evaluate a session as good, you will judge other sessions as bad.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">But to not judge, not evaluate the actual process and to just sink into it, allow oneself to just be in the writing and not judge the actual session as good or bad? That is what I am getting at: trusting the process, working on what we do and learn to not judge or evaluate it. In this sense, or sessions can become benign--we can sink into them and just write, without emotion, day after day. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">It really is possible. It really is a good place to be. It is not easy though--it takes a lot of work to get there.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Try to get there 😀</span></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-58668013595768285232021-09-12T15:38:00.003-07:002021-09-12T15:38:56.390-07:00Normal, Not Normal<p><span style="font-size: medium;">I am having a day that feels almost normal. I drove up from Tacoma to spend a few hours in Seattle before dinner with a friend. Right now I am having wine outside in a "cute" neighborhood. I just had a focused half hour writing session that was super productive and stress free. I also cranked out 500 words of focused free writing on an article--not much work to clean it up either.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">It has felt good to feel almost normal. I have masked up, showed my vaccine record in my lunch spot that required it, and now, outside, I am without mask. It is nice, but I feel almost guilty. Shedding that will take some work.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I almost feel strange that I feel so relaxed, not worried at all about COVID at all. But it is there, in the background. It is going to take a long time to feel normal even when we go back to normal life, when, if...sigh....</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Today, I feel grateful for a bit of normal, for the privileges that I have that allow me to enjoy the day.</span></p><p><br /></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-86820468439682504182021-08-07T09:52:00.000-07:002021-08-07T09:52:14.007-07:00I Don't Hate Goals<p><span style="font-size: medium;">At times, I give the impression that I am anti-goal setting. I really am not. What I believe, however, is that focusing too much on goals without clearly defining and then leaning into your processes rarely leads to good outcomes. Think about it--a goal in and off itself does not make you more creative, faster, a better writer, etc. You are what you are.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"> Thanks Rich, captain obvious!!!!! </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">But really, you are your awesomeness all the time--what you may lack are good processes that help you actualize yourself fully in a healthy and sustainable way!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Good processes are what help you actualize who you are and bring out the best of your work. Have goals, but then develop and master your processes that will help you attain them. In the moment of writing or creative work, allowing your goals to enter can lead to anxiety and tension.</span></p><p><br /></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-11689053515174313722021-05-03T07:00:00.001-07:002021-05-03T07:00:00.215-07:00I Don't Understand Why I Don't Get Writing Done!<p> A cartoon by Joe Dator, <a href="https://condenaststore.com/featured/i-dont-understand-it-joe-dator.html">here.</a> </p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-72663992528260273502021-04-29T07:29:00.000-07:002021-04-29T07:29:48.275-07:00Awfulizing: Brain Fog<p><span style="font-size: large;">One of my clients would tell me about his "Brain Fog" and attribute this condition to his problems with writing. He would describe his tired (and somewhat depressed) mood in great detail, and would catastrophize being a bit tired, unfocused and "down" by actually viewing it as a condition over which he had little choice and control. After a good deal of work, we were able to help him change that!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">To help him start to view his "condition" in a new light, I referred to it as "San Francisco of the brain"--he found it funny, and this helped him be non-defensive as he started to realize that perhaps his "condition" was not something that he had no control over. This allowed us to craft a plan full of strategies for moving toward consistent morning writing: Self talk to help reduce his awfulizing and challenge his expectations of what "Must" occur (I must be sharp and totally "on" to write), a few minute of exercise to help him energize, and rituals and habits to help him stay in process.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Overtime, he began to see "Brain fog" as something that he could write through, and that he had choices.</span></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-2219056314900083532021-04-26T07:08:00.000-07:002021-04-26T07:08:00.880-07:00A Short Post on Awfulizing <p><span style="font-size: large;">I have written about awfulizing a good deal over the years. Awfulizing is the cognitive (thinking) error of making something more horrible than it actually is. It is not simply a matter of choosing strong language as a stylistic preference--the language we use stems from, and reinforces, core beliefs that lead to our feelings and behaviors (put in a rather simple way).</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">There are many awfulizing beliefs that academics hold that that lead to anxiety, self downing, and inertia. I am going to explore some of these in subsequent posts--stay tuned.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-43199126195531056772021-04-25T07:34:00.005-07:002021-04-25T07:34:51.082-07:00Saying No to Something is Saying Yes to Something Else<p><span style="font-size: large;">It is hard to say no. It is, perhaps, one of the most important skills that academics need in order to focus on what is most important to us. Without getting into the 1000 reasons we have for not wishing to say no, there are times we know we need to.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">One attitudinal shift that makes it easier is to realize that saying no to something is saying yes to something more central to what and who we wish to be, or at least what we need to do. When we say no to something, we give ourselves back the potential time and energy that we would have used on the task in question. Channel your inner toddler. No...No...No...</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Take that in. Feel it. Live it.</span></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-37671919048208628752021-04-24T10:45:00.000-07:002021-04-24T10:45:13.400-07:00Rich is at a Coffee House!<p><span style="font-size: large;">For the first time in a year, I am sitting in a coffee house. Great social distancing, a "garage door" open for tons of airflow--it is safe. My goal? To not cry! Prior to this year, I have written in coffee houses perhaps two days a week or so since I was a teenager. I feel joyful, but wistful--it has been a long year for all of us. It has been a long year for me. This feel like something of a new beginning in a year of many, many losses. I am going to work on one of my books, and I might even cry a bit--that is just going to have to be ok!</span></p>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-46455233066266487782021-02-22T06:30:00.003-08:002021-02-22T06:30:03.592-08:00Say No To That Which Falls Outside Your Core Mission<span style="font-size: medium;">Perhaps just a reminder post--I have written about this a bunch. We are in a global pandemic (no duh, Rich), you don't have to take on more, and especially not things tangential to the core of your mission. You can and should say no to things that are not super congruent with your key skills and values.</span><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;">The core of your mission. Know it--live within it. That is it for now.</span></div>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8248128892011800094.post-58760208345874304162021-02-20T10:08:00.001-08:002021-02-20T10:08:17.115-08:00Writing Agenda Plate<span style="font-size: medium;">A year ago, I wrote a post that explored the optimal number of writing projects. You can find it <a href="https://writepublishthrive.blogspot.com/2020/02/the-optimal-number-of-writing-projects.html">here.</a> </span><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-size: medium;">One of my wonderful clients took these insights a step further, and created a fantastic visual depiction of her weekly writing agenda. The items that are on her plate are the only things that she can "eat"--everything else is saved in the metaphorical 'fridge or cupboard. If you like this idea and find it valuable, try doing your own!</span></div></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZpofblkg1SailC3QdT8R24NI2EeHl4E5ywKHHnQkNZExqX3q6pdRvstpCb7ty7aTbQAHPNJ-YFsRHuQIpczGkThmVyhBRrmH-FpSWaYft7NkctJlRbD6OLdzm-6FIXqn57YlcWSr9mwWp/s2048/Writing+Agenda+Plate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZpofblkg1SailC3QdT8R24NI2EeHl4E5ywKHHnQkNZExqX3q6pdRvstpCb7ty7aTbQAHPNJ-YFsRHuQIpczGkThmVyhBRrmH-FpSWaYft7NkctJlRbD6OLdzm-6FIXqn57YlcWSr9mwWp/s320/Writing+Agenda+Plate.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>Rich Furmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452872065331069781noreply@blogger.com1